75 Funny, Positive Quotes To Make You Laugh & Stay Hopeful

• "If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito." — Dalai Lama
• "To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone." — Reba McEntire
• "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." — A.A. Milne
• "A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks." — Charles Gordy
• "Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." — Mark Twain
• "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." — Thomas Edison
• "You can't have everything. Where would you put it?" — Steven Wright
• "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive." — Elbert Hubbard
• "Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there." — Will Rogers
• "Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else's path unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that." — Ellen DeGeneres
• "By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day." — Robert Frost
• "Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else." — Margaret Mead
• "You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club." — Jack London
• "Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad." — Miles Kington
• "People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing—that's why we recommend it daily." — Zig Ziglar
• "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." — Jim Carrey
• "Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." — Isaac Asimov
• "I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific." — Lily Tomlin
• "Bad decisions make good stories." — Ellis Vidler
• "The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." — Ayn Rand
• "I am an early bird and a night owl... so I am wise and I have worms." — Michael Scott

RELATED: 199 Sarcastic Quotes & Funny Memes To Live By Every Single Day

• "I'm in shape. Round is a shape." — George Carlin
• "Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger." — Franklin P. Jones
• "New Year's resolutions work like this: you think of something you enjoy doing and then resolve to stop doing it." — Charlie Brooker
• "Nothing is impossible, the word itself says "I'm possible!" — Audrey Hepburn
• "Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings." — Robert Bloch
• "The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces." — Will Roger
• "Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" — John Barrymore
• "Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?" — George Carlin
• "Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor." — Truman Capote
• "When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?'" — Sydney Harris
• "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." — Albert Einstein
• "If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else." — Yogi Berra
• "The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you'll grow out of it." — Doris Day
• "You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys." — Joel Osteen
• "Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire." — George Bernard Shaw
• "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." — Oscar Wilde oscar wilde keep your chin up quotes
• "Never miss a good chance to shut up." — Will Rogers
• "Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops." — Cary Grant
• "If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out." — Lawrence Ferlinghetti
• "Age is something that doesn't matter unless you are a cheese." — Luis Bunuel
• "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." — George Burns
• "The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not." — Mark Twain
• "If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?" — Cynthia Heimal
• "If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late." — Henny Youngman
• "A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." — Steve Martin
• "Chin up, don't smile, don't cry, don't fall, walk." — Cecelia Ahern
• "Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone." — Anthony Burgess
• "We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know." — W. H. Auden
• "Never have more children than you have car windows." — Erma Bombeck

RELATED: 200 Funny And Inspirational Monday Motivation Quotes

• "Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines." — Satchel Paige
• "One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory." — Rita Mae Brown
• "If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?" — T.S. Eliot
• "Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage." — Ambrose Bierce
• "If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide." — Mahatma Gandhi
• "It has nothing to do with clothing or makeup. Just put your shoulders back and chin up, and face the world with pride." — Helen Mirren
• "Keep your chin up and toilet paper handy!"
• "So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.” — Marilyn Monroe
• "Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines." — Richard Nixon
• "Every man has his follies—and often they are the most interesting thing he has got." — Josh Billings
• "The man who radiates good cheer, who makes life happier wherever he meets it, is always a man of vision and faith." — Ella Wheeler Wilcox
• "You have enemies? Good. It means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.” — Winston Churchill
• "Keep your heels, head, and standards high." — Coco Chanel
• "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?" — Dr. Seuss
• "Even though you're fed up, you've got to keep your head up." — Tupac Shakur
• "Today or never, that's my motto." — Mary Poppins
• "Keep your chin up... but beware of dog poop."
• "If you can make it through the night, there's a brighter day." — Tupac Shakur
• "Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck." — Dalai Lama
• "When life gives you lemons make lemonade and then find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party!" — Ron White
• "Chin up princess or the crown slips."
• "Lost Time is never found again.” — Benjamin Franklin
• "Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.” — Marilyn Monroe
• "It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it.” — Terry Pratchett
• There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.

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